You know what? I have taken the plunge and decided I am really worth focusing on and it is working. I decided this last year some time, but having the same old people surrounding me slowed me down a smidge. I pushed through by finding my tribe online, focusing on becoming a better me and figuring out what really made me happy. That was the tough one – what exactly do I WANT now?
I knew it would happen, but those same old relationships that did not fulfill me, did not survive. It is a strange feeling when you know that staying where you are is the worst thing you can do for yourself, yet you still try to hang on. I am intelligent and full of awesome, why was it so hard to find the courage to get out? I will tell you, because that first step is the hardest.
The decision to move forward and start a new life – a life way more complicated and scary – is one that can remain unmade for years, decades even. Once you commit to that decision though, you can start taking steps toward that new, happy, fulfilling life. The size of the steps are you to you, but commit to making one step every day. Just one step.
I encourage you to really put yourself first. Will being a happier person make you a better mother? A better friend? Just plain old better? Is the life you are living one you are proud of? Words do not teach your kids to become what you want them to be. Being someone you are not, does not bring the right relationship into your life. Your actions do. Be You for your kids. be You for your partner. Be YOU for Yourself.
You will fail. You will try a hundred things only to find out they are not your bag. That is GREAT! You know what you DO not want and can cross that of the possibility list. Go forth and fail, try more shit and succeed at the really authentic stuff. Figure out who you are meant to be and BE that person. In all the glorious Weirdness and Fierceness that you can muster. Because I think you are awesome, my friend.