I strive to be the very BEST, most perfect mom EVER CREATED. When that all goes to the crapper because I lose my cool when 3 hours of tantrums and whining have beat me into a stressed out, frazzled, deep breathing, counted to 10 a hundred times and I just screamed into a pillow for 3 straight minutes mess, I realize that I just need to be the best mom I can. Some tricks to be the best mom you can be?
Meditate Not while driving, or when you need to pay attention to the moment, obviously. Sometimes, when the kids are fighting and the dogs are going crazy and you are going to say something you will regret, just stop. Close your eyes and feel your breath in and out for a couple of minutes. My favorite way to check myself before I wreck myself is to just step out onto the back porch and raise up my head, eyes closed, arms to back and down to my side, palms up and JUST BREATHE. I hear the bees buzzing around, feel the fresh (sometimes smoggy, I do live in L.A., but still) air fill my lungs and get in touch with the pulse of the Earth. Just for a minute. If it is a really good minute, I swear I feel some kind of connection to spirits, Mother Nature, another dimension, aliens…something weirdly there saying “C’Mon Girl, You Got This.”
Listen to Podcasts: I really enjoy Jenny Angell at Creating Forever Love. She has a GREAT podcast about creating loving relationships and being a good role model for your kids. I felt such a sense of relief when the What Do Mom’s Need Episode came out. It was a great interview with Jaime Myers from Queen Mom. I was at a breaking point when I listened to this. I was feeling bad because sometimes my son doesn’t bring out the best in me. I have learned a lot more patience since becoming a mom, but sometimes it is VERY HARD to maintain that patience. This podcast really helped me see that I was not alone in feeling that I was a “bad” mom – and that the feeling was totally okay and untrue. My idea of the mom I want to be is so far off from the mom I am, but at least I have the goal in mind. I may not ever reach that perfect mom, but I am learning and striving to be the best every single day. That seriously kicks ass and I am proud of all of the successes I have had being an awesome mom. Now, I can also give myself a break because the house isn’t prefect, or I was annoyed by my son’s behavior. What a relief.
Check Yo-Self: What we say to our kids becomes their inner voice. Pre birth I vowed to eliminate saying certain things to my kid. Things like ‘Hurry Up’ or ‘What is wrong with you?” and decided instead to go at my kids pace sometimes. Stuff is interesting to kids, if I am in such a damn hurry all the time that really isn’t my kids issue. It will become an issue if all he ever hears is “Hurry Up” kid. I definitely THINK abut what I am saying to them. I now ask “Can you tell me what is upsetting you?” or “Can you help me understand why you are resisting XYZ” It seems to make my Little think more and figure out how to communicate.
Read More: Start a book list, Blog list and Article List. Start at the top. Make notes, apply the techniques and don’t stop trying to be amazing. I use Evernote to keep track of all of these. Evernote Scott on YouTube has a great tutorial about how he set up his media list. I just copied his, because he has a great way to address the organized mind issues. I just love this guy…and Have a New Kid by Friday: How to Change Your Child’s Attitude, Behavior & Character in 5 Days by Dr. Kevin Leman
I have applied the techniques and holy schmoly…the difference in my 3 year old and myself are amazing. The hard part has been getting my hubs to read the book.